Thursday, January 29, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
item #4141
For those willing to put in the time…………..HELLO FROM SIMONE x
item #5901
Monday, January 26, 2009
item #9329
Just thoughts.
Gilbert
Friday, January 23, 2009
item #0608
I do understand the widespread trepidation that so many seem to feel as they venture into kinds of situations, in which, quite naturally, interested parties insist upon silent alarms and words of consent. I have sheets of such things awaiting audit. I know what I am. If you meet me, you will get a strong sense of that, believe me. I work from home, and I live alone. This is ideal, as I will demonstrate. I love the notion of long distances. They make it worth my while. Well, that said, I'm primarily into fantasy fulfilment, and especially if heavily generalised. Makes me swoon. Truly. I'm no technician, but I'll be looking to take it all to pieces should you agree to meet. Anything else is for timewasters. What else...? Well, I have a sense of humour if you get to know me. And these days I don't bother with answers to any of the usual questions, but if you email me I'll be happy to straighten anything out prior to a phoning, or similar masquerade. I have always loved your kind of difficulty. That's why I'm here. Terry
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
item #7300
to susie sue west wales seeking similar ... you're right, rethinking my life is in order. i need a place i don’t know away from everything and everyone so that i can really reflect. at the moment that isn't possible. a fall remains to be seen. i feel it coming. cannot prepare though. just mysterious. but i feel it. most people i know are moving quietly in a narrow corridor. i may need some noise. i am not hearing and i need to be. who does not want to feel wanted and needed? but suspicion gets in the way. that an all the cynicism i see around me. once again my identify is in question no matter what i say here. i've gone as far as i can to prove myself. why keep mailing me telling me what i already know? that last leap is still far off. so i can only ask for your patience. that's if you are even interested. i feel that i am no closer to a conclusion. but i am sure the conclusion will make me happier when it comes. i will eventually decide, one way or the other. i'm already adjusting as far as i can. nothing i say here will change that. i know in my heart i am trying. when i choose the rest of my life i will be living the life i really want, not in parallels and halves like now. i just have to decide which will hurt the least to sever. if you contact me again can we talk about something else please? james
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
item #8548
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
item #8220
Metaphysician
item #5921
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
item #8219
People always want things. Regimes are about people who want things coming together to realise those desires. Relationships form within such situations. You seem to think otherwise. Care to explain your logic? What's so wrong with collaborations of that kind? Why are you so against desire?
To the rest of you ...
Well, I suppose I've made more noise than most about going back to basics. But, let me tell you, I'm no bitch, OK? I am still characterised by my general lack of concern for those activities in which no-one knows their place. No, I'm not going to give examples. Look at my other postings. The evidence is all there, you'll see. I will say, though, that most relationships start out indistinctly. For instance, I remember being driven around town at the beginning, for an entire night, and then for weeks afterwards; all without any real explanation. So linear. For the first few seconds, I was in a kind of haze, instead of attempting to associate my emotions with all the baggage I'd naturally brought to that particular situation. What took place is still a mystery to me. I don't regret how that happened, but it still occupies me.
Together, I think my husband and I tend to problematise things. Isn't that the way with most relationships? (OK, Reece, I know you're different!) We call this actuality. You might have another term. What we want tends to form starting points. I've lost count of the number. I lament their passing. But it's about progress - come what may. Yes, I'm a fucking Modernist. I've spent longer explaining this, but you should get the drift.
Sound familiar?
Denise (J6, M25)
Saturday, January 10, 2009
item #0075
I recently attended a series of events organised in order to examine the effects of * on disturbed individuals; specifically those who might be said to suffer from various social disorders. I attended in a semi-non-official capacity, as a dedicated observer, but with related professional duties, including work on the eventual data-base, as well as technical advice, where needed, on issues within my own fields of research. This work will be formally published in due course, albeit somewhat restrictively so. In the meantime, let me relate to you some of my own observations and initial impressions; by way of beginning to validate this kind of approach overall.
The research took place over * days and involved ten subjects. Each of these subjects was exposed to sustained levels of audible stimuli - from simple to complex. There was an endurance aspect to this, which should be taken squarely into consideration. A simple points-system was used in order to evaluate this component; and subjects were fed or remained unfed in accordance with these findings. This, in turn, functioned as both a basic incentive-scheme and, micro-cosmically, as the way the society of the research worked as a whole. Quite naturally, the division this caused had a remarkable psychological effect.
One central symposium entailed a subject being treated to strict, repeated patterns in groups of twenty-four over seven days; watched by thousands, incidentally. The dialogue here was frankly electric; so much so that I chose to assemble the minutes on this myself. Another symposium was kept deliberately below zero for all concerned; with a conceptual emphasise upon relentless circularity. Here, internal differences became beside-the-point. No situation alarmed anyone.
I'll say more in due course.item #3820
Anyway... I just know this weekend something global will happen. I'm not conflicted over this, I have to say, because, well, who am I to argue? I might make food before I leave. Let it simmer over the weekend.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
item #0009
Thank you for your concern, but I have survived the disaster I previously blogged. One of you knows my plight - for which, I can only thank you. My weakness is that I'm seduced by complete abandon, and that takes its toll. The other day I continued to proceed without caution, and, as a result, lots of self-doubt entered my mind. I admit I was so turned-on, as I took a long hard look at myself, and all the meaningless dialogue my indulgences prompted in good friends. I enjoyed the shame, but I kept it all secret. They inspired my inauthenticity with their comically-flawed discussions of selfishness. I tend to downplay, or even ignore, contemplations of that kind, and spitefully. I do list them, but just for fun. I couldn't live without overthrowing the commitments I've made so far, and acting as if I am doing it for the good of humanity itself. I find it frankly hilarious that some of you manage to believe in me. You're a bunch of conjoiners. (My own marriage can be read about elsewhere. But don't ask me for links. That's a whole other story.)
I am well aware that I am living so much easier that you are. Listing your details just averts my gaze and can only cause trouble. In my life, I'd be inclined to halve the lot of you. My ideas don't allow you any other option. In time, you'll find there's no other way to lead. As a wife and mother, I feel it is more important than the whole thing you are making happen here.
I'm not writing this as an epiphany. I'm just publicising a point of view, but privately.
item #2984
item #7219
i was thinking i see myself perhaps pondering how i define myself. understanding my authority i think the definitions i have are not consensual not quite universal. i'm really emotional about this. interpretations are my understanding. some questions i have are is wide variation possible without a complete willingness to speak internally? it's a number of things, i think of, ie. my strong need and desire to really fucking occur. women within their own right i accept. but i cannot talk or address all the definitions they give to me. may i offer a small observation? i might interrupt myself but not literally, but i clearly see the same ways as would anyone with utter regard for making no bones about the demands of modern life. so how does this make me feel? now that i feel equal to this i find i quite enjoy it, it further enhances my emotional capacity. but what surprises me more about my own feelings about this is that i acknowledge to myself that my feelings are relevant as long as i continue.
this evening i apologised for opening a letter to avert confusion.
item #8867
Hi, Dan (mid30s) here. This message will only apply to a select few. After starting to read it, I'd appreciate you confirming this for me.
item #0931
For years I denied my true self. I did the marriage bit, then got divorced. I believed that was all that existed, until I introduced 'realisations' that had been missing in my life for all those years. Quite naturally I learned I had been ignoring my inner feelings for every desire. I also knew that my real need was to be grown to the point where I would happen upon someone like you eventually. 'Clutches' you say. But no. I long to love you deeper even than I do now. If you will let me. Hence here I am now, open to that world, moving about my true self and what I truly seek and long to be. I now crave the subjugations you originally posed to me and from which I ran away. I can now reasonably assert such desires, and can create profiles in line with those ideas, such as they are. In other words I have become what you see fit. I won't profess to experience or naïvety. It's not about me at all. I will go anywhere for you now, or, if you prefer, I will return as many times you say I must return. I want to become reality. So if you are serious (and I do mean serious) then do please consider me. For you I am truly always as you may desire. Can anyone help me make this happen for real?
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
item #8420
One thing, though, have you considered your experience as a mere instance in a sea of similar instances? For my own part, I never did divert my attention from the view that we are specks of weak light in an ever-darkening sky. Like anyone, to yourself, you're an important emblem, an insurmountable obstacle, an array of possibilities. That is the shape I see most. But I wonder if you can truly feel the feelings of another human-being if you retain control over your own mind and soul to the extent that you say you do. I feel so differently. I'm just a body, without internal direction, orientation. Though I did obtain a husband, I never felt connected to it. Severing that came as no challenge. One cut was all it took; over in an evening. I'm not directly responding, I know, but when I left him there, it was nothing current. You said at the time, or a little while later, I would have no place left. But that didn't happen. You've shown me that exploring such transitions might be called a living, but that by living that way I can only believe in learning and growth, rather than, as is preferable to me, a life of separate episodes.
I hope we can speak this evening.
Your Georgina x
Friday, January 02, 2009
item #3057
item #2831
Would you like to say something before our arrangement ceases to exist and I block your messages and delete the last of your links? Everything comes after this. For the first time in years, I feel like this is a new beginning.
It's over.
Dorothea
item #7450
Can we agree that DeSade's truth is not so rebellious? Disrespect of conventions offers nothing but punctuation, in my view. For example, perfection - or immediacy, if you like - presumes the failure of causation a priori; which, fatally, turns upon convenience as a wordless convergence of imagery, artificially delayed, rendered unknown, as poetry. I am no outcast, but even I can see that. If you wish to organise me differently, get in touch. Currently, I manage my own explanations, albeit without recent success. There is no-one else in this category, as far as I know; so, similarly get in touch if you can rise to such difficulties. Personally, I've found opinions are virtually impossible to index. Maybe you have other ideas.
Everything will go, believe me.
Best wishes,
Louise