I feel broken and I have lied. I feel that the world does not belong to me. I have dishonored my father with lust in my heart. I have no commitment. I am unholy and unrighteous. I expect that I will die and that no-one will notice or even care. My outward stance is fake. My status as educator is an aberration and a vast lie. The books I have written have added nothing to human knowledge or my own self-improvement because I have in every case chosen lazily and with knowingly poor judgment, largely as a plagiarist. I will forever allude the earthly punishments I should receive because of these lies and misdemeanors, but I know I doomed by God for my innumerable sins. Eternal life for me will entail the eternal suffering which I am due, and I accept that fate as the single instance of natural justice in my miserable life.