Saturday, October 07, 2006

breathing steven, jaynie

As if to illustrate, raging, she writes (of work, subjectively):
‘…My strange neck, my one good hand… each withering a bone-end free…’
Adding: ‘…some sharpened stick will break the lock, will suck me back, you’ll see…’
Or ‘…This thing will bring some further ring, some further tendency…’

Tipping now, or twisting
She apes shapes of (a) donkey (illustrating burden)
Of (b) panda (illustrating prone)
Aping these shapes and others alone

As if to illustrate, as klaxon, she writes (of work, subjectively):
‘…Today I will sing me, in order to mend me…’
‘…I will think me, in order to bend me…’
‘…I will make fists of my hands to defend me…’

Sinking now, but still listing
She conjures land, conjures bank;
Fallen trees across an inch-deep pond;
Some chunk of land to lie upon

Meanwhile and elsewhere
He ducks her shadow as a prank
Adding litres of tears
Where she sank

Pouring over
These features of his sting
He follows her down
Taking everything

5 Comments:

Blogger Inconsequential said...

Thankyou, that's a cool piece.


:)

Sunday, October 08, 2006 7:40:00 am  
Blogger Pod said...

thats great! much better than my puny effort, but then you did cheat and use extra words!

Sunday, October 08, 2006 9:33:00 am  
Blogger Inconsequential said...

just noticed the title...

am curious...as my parter's sister is a jayne and her husband a steven.

are they just random choices?

Sunday, October 08, 2006 8:26:00 pm  
Blogger Molly Bloom said...

I think you've captured everything that you possibly could out of this. Says so much. In a way that Jaynie never could.

Sunday, October 08, 2006 8:30:00 pm  
Blogger murmurists said...

Thanks for kind words all. The names are derived from a project I'm working on: they are the two protagonists in a kind of love tangle/murder-mystery.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 9:15:00 pm  

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