item #0105

Intellectually, it's as-the-crow-flies with me. I'm an existential moralist, as I see it. Where am I now? Simply put,, I'm still here! As such, I want to focus for a while on admitting to myself that I had the patience to stick with myself through a lot of ups and downs over the past year and a half. I want to see where that can go when I have more time and energy to devote to objectivity. I'm a lucky person and I should try to remember that. I thought about that yesterday, in fact. I probably want to today, too. I'm not quite sure what to use though. Do I really want to, I ask? Or is it just a case of wanting to like the idea? Somewhere sense prevails. Here, though? Perhaps not. I feel as though I have a moment, but no time. As expected, my journal reads like good times. I am grateful for a lot of things. I try. One day, soon, I'll try again. But, for now, I just feel uncertain. Resolve is over. I've still not been allowed to speak volumes. The problem I'm having is with communication right now. If I ever talk I expect release.