Monday, June 04, 2007

item #3783

Mankind I love. His subjects intrigue me. I find pleasure only in things ordinary people might deem strange. I don't know how to learn. I simply dont have the courage. That's how I feel right now. I get 27,000 emails a day from the fiends who stalk this site. They recognise my fears; to a man, they are happy to liaise with me. To all those skeptics out there, those emails do help exactly because of such ulterior motives. Go figure! Please don't comment upon this. I am just enjoying the threads, the fora, the sites. So many people... so dedicated... so preoccupied... so easy. I'm an addict. Simple. I'm not able to take information in without wanting even more. I suck hard, suck constantly. LOL My BJs are mono-Socratic, anti-dialectical, non-reciprocal. The activation of others is my indulgence. Sometimes I vacillate, yoyo-wise. For example, one time I tried admixing a one-removed hatred of topicality with the notion that life is a gigantic fluffy mystery analysable only via tea-leaves in a cup - as ethos, method, and strategy. I investigated this in full. But now I'm back to sucking hard.

I register on all the important charts and counting devices.

A final thought... I love undifferentiated, unreflexive inter-subjectivity. It serves me well. For instance, each day I arrive late, without observations or queries. It's fascinating to me. Because we have and are allowed to have different viewpoints, others cannot comment upon time. Nothing is really black and white. There is no structure. All is caricature. We have to accept the interpretations of others - as factual objects, of no greater or lesser value than our own. I love this mire LOL It is sooooo convenient LOL Secretly, I know this is a hiding-to-nothing and cannot last, but we ourselves are strange. I myself find totalities everywhere. The world appears to be physical. But I keep silent LOL Just because I don't do a certain thing doesn't mean its bad, its just not for me. I am about maintaining myself for a long time to come.

I favour face-to-face meetings after one email and three phonecalls.

Janet x