Sunday, July 19, 2009

item #0111

It's a while since I've posted here, I realise. Thanks for all the messages of support, asking after my well-being. I'm OK. It all ended - badly. I shouldn't have posted that histrionic entry, though. I know it worried people. A suicide note then I shut up. That was childish and I apologise. Yes, she left me. Just like my good friends predicted. Yes, it was a scam, and I lost a lot. I lost everything in a way. She cleaned me out and now I have more than egg on my face and sadness in my heart. I have huge debts and bad people pursuing me for things I do not have. Maybe it can be sorted out. At the moment I just don't know. That kind of inevitability feels tricky to me, as you can imagine. I'm in an unenviable position of my own making. I clung to something desperately because of loneliness and waiting to love and to be loved. I thought my search was over, and I went against my better instincts and the kind whispers of friends who I should have respected more. Instead, I fell out with those friends, and now I am left trying to piece it all back together. In most cases, I cannot see that happening. I look forward to the day when I can tell you better news. So sorry ... Alice


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