Thursday, July 02, 2009

item #8003

I control his finances. We decided on that shortly after we met. I might worry about those responsibilities from time to time but I suppose I might say anything here. It's more that something lets me make decisions for the both of us. That something is my opinion about the things that matter. I have better ideas. So I get to make all the real decisions. I leave him in the dark and he knows I do and he is fine with that. Ultimately it’s done because it can done. I like that feeling of inevitability. I don’t think I could ever be his doormat. I'm not into taking turns. He earns less than I do, but we both earn enough. It's more or less all mine, though. He prefers blindness, because I think he trusts me. I think it's more to do with him not trusting himself though. His obedience is like some inner childishness. I used to have a long list of things I wanted. Now I have them all. I sleep really well, knowing that tomorrow I can think what I like. Lately I've been putting female hormones in his food.


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