.........Deeeeeaaarrrr Diareeeeeeeeeee
1969: i say to dad or mum: i'm tidying you up. ok, you said i would. i feel your thumbs in my full hand. i stride aside. i am small. because i am young. i see only fairground. icecream. a toy. i canter. others talk. i can't listen for looking. i am small. i know. and your big thumbs fill my hands. i kick my heels. eventually i will write about this here, now, right now.
1982: i say to dad; it was dad: ok i said. you're giving me a lecture on d. your d. you're insisting that you get the t feeling. you drag some s along. locked to the b on your r f. i'm thinking p. too p. i'm thinking. but for you, old friend, it's explanation. the s's not the place. but we've little t. so i listen. to your s. ps you are. i blur my e. i have you on m. telling me about the t. the t. the d.it.y. so, ok. say yourself across to me. i'm willing to understand. i need it pointing out. t me. say in your e. say in your s. in this s. and now. (anger is an energy.) i will out. i will out. out from under you. right of passage. right of passage. in a petrol station, i will defend my sister from the local gangster. he will ring his sons on a mobile phone. i will stand there screaming. because he slighted my sister. he did not see me. i defend her. he rings his sons on a mobile phone. i stand there. nothing. he drives away.
i remember 1984: it said 'guitarist available. is there anybody out there?'. t and i were out there.
1989: RG's frontroom. so ssssssssssssavagely gggguitarrrrringggg. atones. damagers. good food, with spices, from a religious book. late for gigs. all with colds.
1990: G adrifts.1991: 23rd September. damages posters with abutter knife. i had no part in it.
1994: Freetrade Hall. honoured. d/m ... how to love. how to.
2002: Viva... oh, yes, viva that!2004: 6th April. Lincoln. Best day, best best best. life. life. life.
1982: i say to dad; it was dad: ok i said. you're giving me a lecture on d. your d. you're insisting that you get the t feeling. you drag some s along. locked to the b on your r f. i'm thinking p. too p. i'm thinking. but for you, old friend, it's explanation. the s's not the place. but we've little t. so i listen. to your s. ps you are. i blur my e. i have you on m. telling me about the t. the t. the d.it.y. so, ok. say yourself across to me. i'm willing to understand. i need it pointing out. t me. say in your e. say in your s. in this s. and now. (anger is an energy.) i will out. i will out. out from under you. right of passage. right of passage. in a petrol station, i will defend my sister from the local gangster. he will ring his sons on a mobile phone. i will stand there screaming. because he slighted my sister. he did not see me. i defend her. he rings his sons on a mobile phone. i stand there. nothing. he drives away.
i remember 1984: it said 'guitarist available. is there anybody out there?'. t and i were out there.
1989: RG's frontroom. so ssssssssssssavagely gggguitarrrrringggg. atones. damagers. good food, with spices, from a religious book. late for gigs. all with colds.
1990: G adrifts.1991: 23rd September. damages posters with abutter knife. i had no part in it.
1994: Freetrade Hall. honoured. d/m ... how to love. how to.
2002: Viva... oh, yes, viva that!2004: 6th April. Lincoln. Best day, best best best. life. life. life.
posted by murmurists at 10:45 pm
5 Comments:
Very poignant Dr. A. I loved this piece and the way you used the previous one to make a remix. Especially the last part too. Lovely. Always cherish the moments that are special and will stay with you forever.
I loved the thumb in the fingers bit too. Beautiful and innocent. You capture the child-like element there wonderfully.
There is a hint of something sinister there in the middle. I'd like to know more about that.
I think the bit in the middle to which you refer pertains to an actual incident; as all the stuff does in this piece, actually. Band I was in kicked out guitarist. I had nothing to do with it; was forced into it, but did nothing to prevent it either. He did deserve it - very much. Game we had: band had 5 letters in its name. Five members. Each had a letter. Guitarist was G. We used to flypost these five letters around the town, A4-sized. After being kicked out, he went around carving the Gs off walls, Plessy Boxes etc. Nasty situation.
I wanted to know about the 'out from under you' part, which seemed quite frightening as well. Can you share?
...right of passage stuff, Molly. Only son, dad gone. Things like that.
Me? One of two sons, dad gone. Told me he was disappointed in me, just before ... I laughed.
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