Friday, November 24, 2006

.........Deeeeeaaarrrr Diareeeeeeeeeee

1969: i say to dad or mum: i'm tidying you up. ok, you said i would. i feel your thumbs in my full hand. i stride aside. i am small. because i am young. i see only fairground. icecream. a toy. i canter. others talk. i can't listen for looking. i am small. i know. and your big thumbs fill my hands. i kick my heels. eventually i will write about this here, now, right now.
1982: i say to dad; it was dad: ok i said. you're giving me a lecture on d. your d. you're insisting that you get the t feeling. you drag some s along. locked to the b on your r f. i'm thinking p. too p. i'm thinking. but for you, old friend, it's explanation. the s's not the place. but we've little t. so i listen. to your s. ps you are. i blur my e. i have you on m. telling me about the t. the t. the d.it.y. so, ok. say yourself across to me. i'm willing to understand. i need it pointing out. t me. say in your e. say in your s. in this s. and now. (anger is an energy.) i will out. i will out. out from under you. right of passage. right of passage. in a petrol station, i will defend my sister from the local gangster. he will ring his sons on a mobile phone. i will stand there screaming. because he slighted my sister. he did not see me. i defend her. he rings his sons on a mobile phone. i stand there. nothing. he drives away.
i remember 1984: it said 'guitarist available. is there anybody out there?'. t and i were out there.
1989: RG's frontroom. so ssssssssssssavagely gggguitarrrrringggg. atones. damagers. good food, with spices, from a religious book. late for gigs. all with colds.
1990: G adrifts.1991: 23rd September. damages posters with abutter knife. i had no part in it.
1994: Freetrade Hall. honoured. d/m ... how to love. how to.
2002: Viva... oh, yes, viva that!2004: 6th April. Lincoln. Best day, best best best. life. life. life.

6 Comments:

Blogger Molly Bloom said...

Very poignant Dr. A. I loved this piece and the way you used the previous one to make a remix. Especially the last part too. Lovely. Always cherish the moments that are special and will stay with you forever.

I loved the thumb in the fingers bit too. Beautiful and innocent. You capture the child-like element there wonderfully.

There is a hint of something sinister there in the middle. I'd like to know more about that.

Saturday, November 25, 2006 3:03:00 pm  
Blogger Dr Anthony Donovan said...

I think the bit in the middle to which you refer pertains to an actual incident; as all the stuff does in this piece, actually. Band I was in kicked out guitarist. I had nothing to do with it; was forced into it, but did nothing to prevent it either. He did deserve it - very much. Game we had: band had 5 letters in its name. Five members. Each had a letter. Guitarist was G. We used to flypost these five letters around the town, A4-sized. After being kicked out, he went around carving the Gs off walls, Plessy Boxes etc. Nasty situation.

Saturday, November 25, 2006 3:40:00 pm  
Blogger Molly Bloom said...

I wanted to know about the 'out from under you' part, which seemed quite frightening as well. Can you share?

Saturday, November 25, 2006 7:39:00 pm  
Blogger Dr Anthony Donovan said...

...right of passage stuff, Molly. Only son, dad gone. Things like that.

Saturday, November 25, 2006 9:26:00 pm  
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Saturday, November 25, 2006 9:31:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Me? One of two sons, dad gone. Told me he was disappointed in me, just before ... I laughed.

Sunday, November 26, 2006 1:24:00 pm  

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