item #0156

I've lost her. I tried again and again. But it hasn't worked, and she's left me - not for another, she's just had enough. I thought today time may have healed me but it didn't. I got so angry. Went outside looking. I badly hurt them. They were just closest. I had no connection. So now it's easier. But it won't last I think. At least this way I can be intimate at times. But I won't ever love. We may have something in common. Maybe what I've put here interests you enough to send a message. I'm not even sure I want messages. And no, I don't know why I'm here or why I'm completing this profile and letting others see it. All I know is that I'm hurt both physically and mentally, I'm suffering, and no amount of knowledge can change that. Some new cage awaits me somewhere, another trap. I'm ticking like a timebomb. I just know once I'm over this I'll make the same mistakes again. Celeste :(