item #7219

i was thinking i see myself perhaps pondering how i define myself. understanding my authority i think the definitions i have are not consensual not quite universal. i'm really emotional about this. interpretations are my understanding. some questions i have are is wide variation possible without a complete willingness to speak internally? it's a number of things, i think of, ie. my strong need and desire to really fucking occur. women within their own right i accept. but i cannot talk or address all the definitions they give to me. may i offer a small observation? i might interrupt myself but not literally, but i clearly see the same ways as would anyone with utter regard for making no bones about the demands of modern life. so how does this make me feel? now that i feel equal to this i find i quite enjoy it, it further enhances my emotional capacity. but what surprises me more about my own feelings about this is that i acknowledge to myself that my feelings are relevant as long as i continue.

this evening i apologised for opening a letter to avert confusion.